I’m already living the life I want
Sure, I have bumps in the road along the way, with not getting any income for months, and having to watch my expenditures, but I just take that free benched time to get other things done.
Or I’d like to be an American citizen living in Dallas right now and working, but that’ll come eventually — it’s in my life plan.
I just have to be patient.
People have told me to my face that my lifestyle is impossible
When others come over to my small studio apartment, ask me what films I’ve seen in the cinema or what restaurants I’ve been to recently, they find out pretty quickly that I don’t like going to the cinema and I don’t eat out — I cook at home most of the time.
That I’ll never keep up on it, and it’s just a phase.
That when I have kids, I am going to want a huge McMansion, private school tuition and all of the fancy trappings like them.
But I don’t think so.
I may want the best, but if I can’t afford it, I am not going to kill myself to give them something I don’t think is necessarily better.
A huge McMansion? Why? I grew up in a medium-sized home and turned out fine.
BF grew up in a small studio apartment with 2 siblings and turned out fine.
Sure, it was cramped and they occasionally had fights about space, but it just made them learn how to get along with each other, instead of having to intercom each other from their bedrooms.
It’s not even a question of money most of the time
My family thinks I’m such a hippie weirdo for sleeping on a futon on the floor, and I’ll bet it crossed their mind at least ONCE that they think I am too cheap to spring for a bed.
But they don’t understand that even if you gave me a choice between a bed and a futon, both free, no strings attached, I’d take the futon.
It’s my lifestyle.
It’s more of a question of lower expenses
With low expenses, you can live on what you earn and save, for much longer.
It’s just basic rationality.
If you only spend $1000 a month, and earn $4000 a month, then $3000 goes into savings, and is equivalent to 3 months of living.
But if you spend $3500 a month, and only save $500 a month, that’s less than half a month, and would take you 7 months to save for one emergency month.
For me, the biggest impact over a certain salaried threshold, is not so much earning more money, but watching your expenditures.
It isn’t worth it to me, to give up my life like a slave to work for money.
Money ends up controlling you and your life.
With lower expenses, you can also save more, and do more of the things you want with the free time you have.
Like travel (something I love to do).
There’s no need to always spend your money buying things.
Experiences are worth so much more because you can’t just buy a memory.
So, are you living the life you want?
This is how I started thinking about it.
Make a list of everything you think you want or need to make your life perfect.
It looked something like:
- Pay off debt
- Go on vacation
- Change jobs
- Buy that set of cooking pans
Those are all attainable goals.
I set up plans for each, after prioritizing the items, and started working towards the goal.
I just feel like if we made lists more often and analyzed what made us unhappy, and set a plan to go about fixing it, it would be easier to see the forest for the trees.
Red
on Mar 8th, 2010
@ 3:09 pm:
You know, I used to try to please all people all the time. Then I realized… I only get a few short decades here before I'm gone. Do I want to die knowing that I pleased my family and everyone thought I was "normal?" Or do I want to die knowing that I lived exactly how I wanted and have no regrets?
If you (or your blog readers) haven't read it, Voluntary Simplicity is a great book for putting "living simply" and life in general in perspective. It totally changed how I thought of life, death and stuff.
Patricia
on Mar 8th, 2010
@ 3:35 pm:
Hello,
I just want to say I think your blog is wonderful. A few months ago I finally realized that working all the time to buy useless stuff I am never home to enjoy anyway is ridiculous. I've made major changes since then and am a lot happier, and so is my family, since I don't take out stress on them like I used to. I'll be reading your blog regulary. It's great you realized this truth so young. I feel bad for all those people who spend lifetimes working and being miserable for no good reason. Excellent job!
Meg
on Mar 8th, 2010
@ 4:40 pm:
Are you reading my mind again?!
For some reason I imagine our families meeting one day and comparing notes. And I find it quite humorous already. "You think THAT's bad! They don't even have a kitchen table!"
Yeah, I'm sick of people telling me how I live is wrong because it doesn't fit their idea of how middle class people — or even working class people — should live. After all, even the poorest people I knew growing up had televisions and PLENTY of knick knacks. So, as some people see it, we're acting poorer than poor.
And since I have no problem saying we're in debt they can understand MAYBE why we don't go out and buy a new car or plasma t.v., but they can't understand why we don't Freecycle our house full and thrift store shop and dumpster dive and let them buy us stuff. The really can't get why we've given away so much stuff!
What they don't understand is that this isn't some sort of ascetic thing we're doing to pay for our financial sins. We ENJOY it. THIS is how we want to live our lives. And, while I look forward to being out of debt, I don't see it changing us all that much — though they say it will, of course. We might travel some more, maybe do some more improvements on our home, and not worry so much about financial security once we have a good nest egg, but we already spend enough on the things that make us happy and healthy — and we're not cutting back on those things just to spend it on things that make other people happy.
So, they might dream of winning the lotto but not us. We're really o.k. with what we have.
Ellie Di
on Mar 8th, 2010
@ 11:15 pm:
I've been struggling lately with finding my ideal life and balancing that with being happy where I am. There are certainly things I want, but is focusing on them making me unhappy or does it mean that I'm never satisfied? If I'm vying with myself to get to some ideal goal, am I sacrificing too much of the now? It's a weird conundrum and I'm trying to find a good answer.
That being said, though: I love your message and I'm so happy for you being happy! <3
Dave
on Mar 8th, 2010
@ 11:30 pm:
I feel like I just read a post I wrote myself. I can definitely relate. Thanks for sharing.
Chelsie
on Mar 9th, 2010
@ 1:35 am:
Your posts are so inspirational. When I got married, I started comparing myself to all my friends who are buying houses, new cars, and spending their hard earned money on other toys. I quickly found myself "wanting" these things too which was foolish because that is not who I am at all nor are those the things I want out of my life. I had to retrain myself to be happy with living on my student salary in our tiny one bedroom apartment and focusing on the things that were important to us. Slowly but surely we are getting there and I am starting to remember that life isn't about the things we fill it with!
Minimalist Ninja
on Mar 8th, 2010
@ 9:45 pm:
Awesome awesome awesome post… You're so right about others viewing minimalists as "cheap" and whatnot. And thank you for the paragraph on income vs expense. I always tell people, in their lingo, that it's not what I have materialistically, but what my net worth after expenses.
I really enjoy your blog!
momsmanyprojects
on Mar 9th, 2010
@ 3:14 am:
I can totally relate to how you live. We obviously have more stuff and more expenses than you do, but our expenses are a lot less than most people have. How else could we make what we've saved (about $8,000) last while hubby is out of work! It's barely enough for most people these days to live off of for a few months, but we'll be able to do it for almost a year, if we're careful. And that's with a house payment! And two growing boys! It's all about keeping your expenses low, which makes us less stressed out during a tough time!
veganprimate
on Mar 9th, 2010
@ 4:57 am:
My family thinks I’m such a hippie weirdo for sleeping on a futon on the floor, and I’ll bet it crossed their mind at least ONCE that they think I am too cheap to spring for a bed.
Oh, my mom does that all the time. Everytime I talk to her, she mentions that I can buy a small apartment-sized washer and dryer. I use a 5 gallon bucket and a plunger specially made for doing laundry (and I dry on a drying rack). I live about three blocks away from a laundromat, and I only go there to wash towels and blankets. I prefer my bucket. In my previous apartment, which was in a building, the laundry room was two doors over. I only used it for towels and blankets. I prefer my bucket. My mother seems to think I'm either too poor or too stupid to buy an apartment-sized washer.
It has been more than five years that I've been doing laundry by hand, and I prefer it.
Oh, I don't have a futon, b/c I find them uncomfortable, but I sleep on an inflatable mattress, which is the most comfortable thing I've slept on my entire life. If someone gave me a thousand dollars to buy a proper bed with boxsprings and everything, I still wouldn't. I love my air mattress.
Alex
on Mar 9th, 2010
@ 12:48 am:
Maybe close to perfect? I dont think getting things or doing things will make my life perfect.. I just think that it would make it easier! really liked this post and agree with savings, I have saved so much its unbelievable..
terri sammons
on Mar 9th, 2010
@ 1:58 pm:
You ae so right! These are the goals that I have right now. I want my life back from past mistakes of thinking I was doing the norm because that is what I was told to do. But for me, I am perfectly happy to live the life you are talking about. I am working hard to get to that life. Sometimes it is rough because we have kids and elderly parents and all, but I know exactly how I want my life to be. I know that someday I will get there and for now I just enjoy the simple pleasures and accomplishments along the way. Thank you for your post that always keep me encouraged and to know that i am not alone or "weird" for wanting a better, balanced, and uncrazy lifesyle!! Love your blog!! http://www.blogspot.com/ terri sammons!!
keep up the incredible work you do here!! have a great week!!
Julie
on Mar 10th, 2010
@ 5:08 am:
I just graduated from college and relocated in a brand new city and live in an apartment nearby my work with a mutual friend who goes to school nearby. My apartment is minimalist ( there is nothing in the living room–no couch. Just another roommate who recently moved in just to get away from her ex and my mattress is on the floor) and I have modest income and I have student loan debt. People around me think are pretty suprised considering that I have a job shouldn't I be having a pottery barn catalog bedroom? Well…it would be nice but the mattress I have is from a friend who moved back to Taiwan and it's a twin. Since I'm kind of tall, the twin is small but it does the job. It makes no sense buying a bedframe for a twin when I am going to get rid of it anyways. Besides one of the springs is starting to pop up but there is still life left in it–just don't stand or jump on the mattress. So in the meantime, I'll just think whether or not I want another mattress or a futon. I am pretty happ with my lifestyle. In fact I actually save half of my paycheck and I proud of myself that I did not spend a single cent on my bonus check which means I am living comfortably. I am getting my refund too in a few days and that one is going to pay off two of my credit cards and i put a good chunk of it to my Roth IRA and my EF fund. Having a couch is nice and a dining table so you and your friend don't have to sit on floor is nice too but they understand. I just graduated and I really don't mind taking my time acquiring some home fashions. What I'm really urging for is travel, I didn't get an opportunity to travel abroad or go across the country with friends in college so I'll save up for that instead! Sorry about the ramble!
Trece
on Mar 11th, 2010
@ 2:04 pm:
Thank you so much for the clearest and most concise explanation of why, and then, EXACTLY how to get to where we want to be. Or where anyone can get to where they want to be – even the McMansion wanters. Yo, it's a blueprint!!
Carnival of Personal Finance #248 : Carnival of Personal Finance
on Mar 15th, 2010
@ 6:57 am:
[...] Everyday Minimalist: Are you living the life what you want? [...]
monique
on Mar 16th, 2010
@ 2:18 am:
I agree with you 100%. At some point we all have to determine how much we value stuff and/or experiences