I experienced a bit of malaise when I stopped working and was waiting on the bench for a contract.
I felt uncomfortable.
For the first month, I was a cleaning, cooking, organizing DEMON.
I felt so free to do whatever I wanted, but so guilty at the same time, that I couldn’t stop filling my day up with STUFF.
I even went downtown all the time, just to take up time in my day, doing meaningless errands and tasks.
Eventually, I became more comfortable with not being busy.
Or feeling the need to be stressed out and hyper-tense all the time.
Then it hit me: I made my life more difficult and harder, because I felt uncomfortable with free time.
Can you believe it?
Uncomfortable with too much free time.
Now I’ve started to spread things out during the week, sticking to my 3-things-a-day plan rather than trying to cram it all in one day.
And if I feel extra motivated, I do a lot more, and pick up momentum along the way.
And if I am not motivated, I don’t let it bother me the way it used to.
Sometimes, I still get REALLY bored.
But I just need to see it as an opportunity to:
- read those e-books
- watch those movies
- practice new recipes
- organize
- backup my data
- nap 😛
I am still sending out resumes, applying for jobs and getting in contact with brokers…
But the only difference between me, and other freelancers is that instead of stressing over NOT having a contract, I’m choosing to see the positive side of it.
I don’t have financial hardship, I have low costs of living, I have everything I could ever want or need to keep me busy, and I am happy.
I just tell myself that it is what it is, and I cannot force a contract to appear out of mid-air.
Companies are just waiting until next year, and that’s that.
Note: I should also mention that I live in Canada, where the IT market is super small compared to the States.
I drool over the opportunities I see in the States.
Y’all need me.
I just don’t have a green card.