Enjoy the feeling of not being busy.

I experienced a bit of malaise when I stopped working and was waiting on the bench for a contract.

I felt uncomfortable.

For the first month, I was a cleaning, cooking, organizing DEMON.

I felt so free to do whatever I wanted, but so guilty at the same time, that I couldn’t stop filling my day up with STUFF.

I even went downtown all the time, just to take up time in my day, doing meaningless errands and tasks.

Eventually, I became more comfortable with not being busy.

Or feeling the need to be stressed out and hyper-tense all the time.

Then it hit me: I made my life more difficult and harder, because I felt uncomfortable with free time.

Can you believe it?

Uncomfortable with too much free time.

Now I’ve started to spread things out during the week, sticking to my 3-things-a-day plan  rather than trying to cram it all in one day.

And if I feel extra motivated, I do a lot more, and pick up momentum along the way.

And if I am not motivated, I don’t let it bother me the way it used to.

Sometimes, I still get REALLY bored.

But I just need to see it as an opportunity to:

• read those e-books
• watch those movies
• practice new recipes
• organize
• backup my data
• nap 😛

I am still sending out resumes, applying for jobs and getting in contact with brokers…

But the only difference between me, and other freelancers is that instead of stressing over NOT having a contract, I’m choosing to see the positive side of it.

I don’t have financial hardship, I have low costs of living, I have everything I could ever want or need to keep me busy, and I am happy.

I just tell myself that it is what it is, and I cannot force a contract to appear out of mid-air.

Companies are just waiting until next year, and that’s that.

Note: I should also mention that I live in Canada, where the IT market is super small compared to the States.

I drool over the opportunities I see in the States.

Y’all need me.

I just don’t have a green card.