The Everyday Minimalist | Living with less, but only the best

This is tricky business.

To stop wanting something is to basically cut through that desire.

I don’t believe it when people say it’s just a matter of discipline.

Or mind over matter.

Raw emotion is difficult to control, but perhaps these methods might help.

Play it out

Let’s say you feel a strong desire for a new car.

Your old one is a 2000 Cavalier that it on its last legs, and you just.. want it.

At this point, I normally do all the motions of wanting the car.

I research it, I pick out the colour, I figure out the price, whether to lease or buy, the payments, increase in insurance and/or gas… everything.

At the end of that research, I compile all the information together and give it a hard stare.

More often than not, I realize that:

what I already own is still good enough to drive

I don’t use a car that often (I actually prefer public transit)

I am not willing to pay the extra difference in cash

I find that going through the motions, playing out the desire until the end, helps lessen the need for it.

It may not work for everyone (you may feel even more tempted!) but it works for me, because I give myself a mental slap with the hard facts facing me.

I don’t just act on impulse and sign the papers for the car. I work the issue to death before making any decisions.

Find a substitute and be creative

If you already have a black sweater, do you need a black sweater with a chain on it?

Probably not. Not at all.

It may only be $50, or only $100, but the motivation of being creative (to me) is a lot more exciting.

I try to make do with what I’ve got. At least, that’s the plan for 2010.

For example, you could just pin a necklace on your old cardigan.

Even for kids, this is useful.

My parents wouldn’t buy me a Barbie Dream house when I was a kid.

So while I pouted, I decided to just be creative, and I made a dollhouse out of an old bookcase, and crafted all of their furniture out of old pieces of taped cardboard together.

Turned out better than I had hoped.

Make it a goal

If all else fails, make it a goal.

I find that this is an effective delay tactic.

How so?

Say you have an important certification coming up.

IF you pass that exam, you decide you will buy that laptop.

(Er.. that is, assuming you can afford it without going into debt).

1. By the time you pass that certification, you may have already forgotten about that laptop.

Mission accomplished.

Delaying it so long, by making it a goal instead of something arbitrary, made you forget about it.

2. Or decide you want to save the money (this is more often than not, what happens to me).

3. Even if you end up buying the laptop, it was a great motivator to pass that test.

About everydayminimalist

I'm a 20-something year old girl who lived out of a single suitcase in 2007, and now I'm living with less, but only with the best. You don't have to get rid of everything to become a minimalist! Minimalism can help simplify and organize your life, career, & physical surroundings. You can read more about me as a minimalist. Or come and visit my other blog Fabulously Broke in the City where I got out of $60,000 of debt in 18 months, earning $65,000 gross/year.

http://www.facebook.com/baxteran.3760 Ang Baxter

When I’m out and am feeling an urge to buy – I take a picture with my cell phone of the item and price. If I still want it, I can look and decide for sure… and remember which store. But more often than not, I never look at and end up deleting later. I also do this when searching for something at best price – very helpful! I also do the save online to shopping cart — or now I pin to pinterest too! Effective at sorting out the short-term urge to splurge from items that I really want and support my life.
http://www.facebook.com/Stevie800uk Steve Landau

I think you are very mad,you need to see a shrink,hope you get well soon !
Amanda Marron

If it’s something I see online that I want, I’ve discovered that adding to my shopping cart and clicking “check out” does wonders, because by the time I get to the screen where I should hit the PayPal button or enter a credit/debit card number, the desire has lessened enough that I can close the window and not feel bad about it. Also, as long as I know that an item is available, I’m less likely to make sudden purchases. I save pictures of items that I could duplicate myself or have made for me in the future, so that it’s not really gone if someone else buys it. The items are a lot less expensive and take up much less space on my hard drive than in my apartment.
http://pulse.yahoo.com/_ACG24NWFRQUHXQDO2TZ3NOZQ34 I'am

HAHAHAHAHAHA, easier said than done. Three different women, all cute, pretty, and attractive in their own mixed-race; 1) Pinay/Thai, 2) Italian/Russian/French, 3) Chinese/Vietnamese/Swedish.

In each sexual interaction I stalled, to catch myself in whatever mental-state I was primarily asserting, than I’d see how’d they react, than myself, AFTER, going down on each one of them. In each segment 2 things bugged me, having a killer orgasm myself when they returned the favor, OR, stopping everything for that moment my dick was solid and heartbeat on speed. Result was SEX, SEX, AND MORE SEX FOR EACH WITH EACH WOMAN, and I regret not!! There needs to be a DEEPER-DRIVE OF MOTIVATION, A DEEP REASON TOO STOP, I had no such, just an ego curious!!

So if its about “sex”, and hindering it, she most likely needs to be butt-ugly gross!!
Concojones

When I see something desirable, I think whether I want this and the answer may be yes or no. I make a mental note and I continue my business. A couple of weeks later the object will come to mind again and I'll again wonder whether I want it or not. If after repeating that a few times the answer is still "yes", I add it to my wishlist. The advantage is that you've been able to review the purchase from different sides, and that you're ready to make a decision you won't regret.

This is not a strategy though, it's my nature.
Noelle

I really like the 30 day list. Write on a piece of paper with the date and check back in 30 days. If I really need it, I'll get it, but if it was just a want, not a need, the feeling has often passed. And even if I splurge and get it, at least I delayed spending money for a while.
Sophie

the last one is the point!!! Delay as long as possible then find out I basically dont need
http://minimalistmum.blogspot.com/ Jessica Parsons

We do that a lot – My husband and I are generally very wary shoppers. When we wanted a new dining room table to replace the hand-me-down boardroom one we had been using, we agreed on our first expedition that we were only looking and not buying yet.

Ironically, on that trip we found the perfect table at a great price and had to eat our words – but we've never regretted eating att the table!
Miriam

I'm trying the waiting method myself and I find it very effective. Usually when I wait at least 24 hrs, the desire for whatever it was that I wanted is gone. I also really like focusing on what I gain when I save the money, it give me a better feeling.
http://blahsuzie.blogspot.com suzie

Ah yes I've done the 'going thru the motions' and decide it's all too hard so I just don't buy it. Although sometimes I do but it's rare nowadays. And I find waiting is good as well. Sometimes by the end of the month, it's not available/sold out and I think- well it is not meant for me to buy it afterall.
http://www.lifeshouldbethecatsmeow.blogspot.com Cat's Meow

I find that if I follow through with a "waiting period" or promise myself I can get it when it goes on sale if I still want it, I always end up forgetting about the whole thing!
Definitely wait, and think through.

How to stop wanting something

Play it out

Find a substitute and be creative

Make it a goal

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