EvilDonkey (my new addition to my blogroll) wrote about feeling guilty for feeling so good for wanting his new laptop.
It embarrases me to say so but buying the computer made me feel good.
…..
I was alone on my couch, and I knew, really knew, that I deserved that damn computer.
Sliding up to my keyboard, punching in the credit card and buying that computer felt good.
It is embarrassing to admit it but I am willing to bet that you know exactly how good it felt.
The moral of this post is that I fuck up now and again. You do too.
……
Sure, I fell off the wagon. I will again – but not today.
Exhibit A: Source of Guilt
This was my comment/answer:
But why did buying the computer make you feel guilty for feeling good?
I feel AWESOME when I shop
I get a new top, new necklace, whatever.. I feel on top of the world.
But I am also not going back to the stores in hopes for retail therapy to blot out my life’s problems.
And I don’t buy anything just for the sake of buying something to get a high.
I only get that high when I buy something I want and really like.
(Laptops included, I own 3, and my boyfriend owns 6. Yes, we are minimalists but we are also geeks.)
I think it’s a fine distinction between being happy with getting what you want, and being UNHAPPY and using retail therapy to make yourself feel better.
You can buy stuff and feel good.
No need for guilt.
It is only when you know you don’t want, need (or can afford) something that you SHOULD feel guilty.
I used to go out shopping when I had a bad or stressful day.
Did I come back with anything I really loved or wanted?
Not really.
I came back with more substitutes of the same stuff that I already owned, or things I inevitably knew I’d never use (hello workouts to better buns on DVD!)
I was just shopping to make myself feel better, and it didn’t matter WHAT I bought.
Having stuff is not a bad thing.
And owning stuff should not make you feel guilty.
Just own what you actually want and need.
Kevin Martin Doyle
on Nov 19th, 2009
@ 10:06 am:
Thanks for pointing out something which I have completely missed: the difference between purchasing something you want, need and will use and purchasing something to distract you from your real feelings. Through conscious living and purchasing, we can assess why we are really making a purchase.
Such a simple distinction and one that, for the most part, I have missed! Despite my best efforts, I sometimes get too caught up in living a certain life rather than adapting and adopting the philosophy of minimalism to work for me.
Great post!
Kevin Martin Doyle´s last blog ..Are You a Minimalist Asshole?