Note: I am by no means trying to make any kind of social or political commentary here, but can you imagine choosing a mate just by whether or not he owns a home?
This New York Times post struck me as being sad, but not surprising: For many bachelors in China, no [house] deed means no dates
In the realm of eligible bachelors, Wang Lin has a lot to recommend him [but the] 28-year-old college-educated insurance salesman lacks that bankable attribute known as real property.
Given that even a cramped, two-bedroom apartment on the dusty fringe of the capital sells for about $150,000, Mr. Wang’s $900-a-month salary means he may forever be condemned to the ranks of the renting.
In recent months, half a dozen women have turned down a second meeting after learning that he had no means to buy a home.
“Sometimes I wonder if I will ever find a wife,” said Mr. Wang, who lives with his parents, retired factory workers who remind him of his single status with nagging regularity.
“I feel like a loser.”
Hearing stories from people I know living abroad, the #1 question girls ask them is: What is your nationality/citizenship status?
Take this with a grain of salt, but from what I am told by a friend, the girls are not shy about sidling up to guys in the club and going after the ones who either look like they have the means and money, or at the very least, can leave China.
Perhaps asking if you live with your parents is the second question in the line of fire:
Liu Binbin, 30, an editor at a publishing house in Beijing, said he often arrived at first dates by bus, even though he owned a car.
“If they ask me questions like ‘Do you live with your parents?’ I know what they’re after,” he said.
Mr. Liu said he went on 20 unfulfilling blind dates until finding a suitable girlfriend last year.
He said he knew she was the one after passing the three-month mark.
“The whole time she thought I didn’t own an apartment and she still wanted me,” he said.
“Someone like that is rare.”
Seeing as the Chinese have the one-child-per-household rule still in effect and are stuck to the traditional mentality of always having a son to carry on the name, it’s starting to make it difficult for eligible men to find women.
Not only that, the Chinese baby girls who are not given away are usually adopted by foreigners, and these guys lack the means to travel abroad to find a wife (that is, if their choice is to only marry someone who is Chinese).
I don’t know what the stats are, but my friend told me the odds feel like 4 guys to a girl.
So there aren’t enough women to go around, but then to put on top of all that a requirement that they have the means to buy a home?
…more than 70 percent of single women in a recent survey said they would tie the knot only with a prospective husband who owned a home.
I just find it kind of funny that we’re choosing to rent instead of buy, and it sure puts our choice into perspective.
“A lot of girls, encouraged by their parents, see marriage as a way of instantly changing their status without the hard work.”
Many women are unapologetic about their priorities, citing the age-old tradition in which men provided a home for their brides, even if that home came with a mother-in-law.
NYT article here: For many bachelors in China, no [house] deed means no dates
It sort of makes me wonder why a girl can’t own her own home, even taking into account that women may not play as much of an independent role in China as they do in more westernized countries.
Or at least she should think about contributing her half towards getting the home together with her future husband rather than relying on him to provide her with everything.
Why not stand on your own two feet as a hardworking woman as well and say: Hey I may not have a home, and you don’t either, but I have X amount saved aside for a future home if/when I meet someone.