Buying things to be happy is easier than really working on being happy
Buying things and making money is easier because all it takes is money. Not skill, discipline or any work whatsoever.
It is far easier for example, to buy a meal in a restaurant as a gift for someone`s birthday than it is to learn how to make a homemade meal for someone and to put the effort it.
It is much easier to buy designer clothes and bags, than it is to acquire and find your own sense of style as an individual.
It is much easier to buy the latest gadget as the symbol you can flash around to other that you fit in with others, than it is to just work on fitting in with others by being yourself.
When you buy items to make up for your perceived flaws, deficiencies and insecurities, you are buying poor substitutes for true markers of happiness.
You are cheating yourself out of acquiring genuine happiness, which consists of working towards:
- knowing your sense of self and who you are inside
- having strong social ties with friends and family
- enjoying your career and the challenges it brings
- understanding your actions and seeking to improve
- loving what you already have and own rather than lusting for more
- feeling like you are in control of your life and empowered
Happiness to me at the core is all about FREEDOM
The freedom to be able to do what you want, when you want and however you want is the reason why people buy things as a way to acquire the fleeting feeling of freedom.
When people buy things, they feel like they are free to choose what to buy, in what colour, and in what amounts.
That freedom in the choice of purchase is what people are really craving, rather than the item itself.
If what I am saying is not true, why are we craving for an upgrade or the next big lust on our list, so soon after big purchases?
Even for people in debt, when they shop, they feel happy because with their purchase on credit, they can trick themselves into pretending like they have the money to afford whatever they are buying.
The real root of their unhappiness of course, is not that they do not have the items they want, but that they do not have the freedom of financial security.
Ironically they mask and suppress this financial insecurity and fear by purchasing items on credit to give them the false feeling that everything is okay.
This is why we are so obsessed as a society about money.
Money offers freedom and opens up a lot of doors to have different choices.
- decide to tell an employer you are leaving
- in fact, leave anywhere and anytime you want (city, bad relationship, country)
- sleep soundly without worry
- travel anywhere you desire
- buy whatever you want or need
- never have to worry about where your next meal is coming from
- provide for others in our life
Gaining true, lasting happiness does not require money or material goods to begin developing.
All you need is your self, your will, what you feel your purpose in life is and learning how to be happy for what you already have, by not lusting for what you don`t.
And for the record:
I DO like to shop and I ENJOY owning and using things. I am not saying to never shop again, to never want a new [insert item here]. I am just saying that if you seem to be shopping excessively, buying tons of crap you won’t use or need, then stop and think about it for a second.
For me, I am now just conscious of such behaviour and I’ve cut down on my shopping considerably.
Now, I may just buy slightly more higher-end items for the design/quality/fit, rather than buying 5-6 mediocre items when I really just wanted one particular item.
Or I just won’t buy anything at all until I find exactly what I wanted/needed.