What makes a place a home?

– 1 December , 2010Posted in: Minimalism

Is it a permanent address?

A city?

The things you have — couch, table, bed, chairs?

Or is it the relationships you have with the people there?

As someone who has lived in 5 cities in a span of 20 years, as well as countless other cities I’ve traveled to and “lived” in for the duration of projects in hotels, I can say that what makes a place “home” for me is the relationships I have with people there.

For me, home is truly where the heart is.

Wherever I am, no matter what city or what country, apartment, house or hotel.. if BF is with me, I feel like it’s home.

When I visit my friends or family, it feels like home.

It may not be familiar, but that isn’t the same thing to me.

It only takes me about 2 months at a certain location, to have it feel “familiar”, but my home never changes — it’s with BF (my heart) or with my family (my blood).

Along with the fact that I am an easily adaptable person with a penchant for mobility, it’s another reason why my concept of what a “home” is, is very abstract.

I feel free and more alive by not having any possessions or physical ties rather than what some people might see as being deprived.

So what’s “home” to you?

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Blog Side Note: Does Ritualized Gratitude really count (Link)?

Trever talks about people feeling the need to give thanks around this time of year, but not during the entire year, especially since most of us are about to embark on some hedonistic eating and holiday shopping in the meantime. Rings a little hollow, he says.

Being grateful is something I’m reminded of on a daily basis, not just around the holiday season. As for the eating and shopping?

No crazy holiday shopping for us this year (or for most years that I can recall), but there will be holiday feasting, and perhaps a Starbucks treat or two. Nothing fancy or extravagant. I’d rather drink in the (free) cheeriness of the holiday spirit.

Tags: Heart, Home, Living, Minimalism, Philosophy

About everydayminimalist

I'm a 20-something year old girl who lived out of a single suitcase in 2007, and now I'm living with less, but only with the best. You don't have to get rid of everything to become a minimalist! Minimalism can help simplify and organize your life, career, & physical surroundings. You can read more about me as a minimalist. Or come and visit my other blog Fabulously Broke in the City where I got out of $60,000 of debt in 18 months, earning $65,000 gross/year.

http://home.wikia.com/ Guest

Some other ideas at http://home.wikia.com/wiki/What_makes_a_place_a_home?
A few of the items that have been mentioned are
* family
* a safe place
* family momentos (stored in a hope chest)
* the place where everyone gathers for a meal
http://www.capsulewardrobes.co.uk Suzie Bee

Home to me is where my favourite things are:

1. My husband
2. My alarm clock
3. A couple of my books
4. Some precious things, like my white-wire-framed mirror

I need somewhere to LOOK like home. It doesn’t take much to do that, but it needs to have a familiar feel.
MelD

I moved quite a lot as a child and my parents weren't attached to places, so home is the tiny house my grandma still lives in after 73 years (moved there as a newly wed)… it will be a huge loss when she goes and we won't be able to keep the house. Will it matter if she's not there? I don't know! Although it is 1000 miles away, it's my roots.
Now home is a 1770 house, small and neat, that we bought and I hope we never have to sell (wouldn't expect to) and our children are moving out, just one daughter left now, so it's getting bigger all the time! It is where we are family, where our kids come to see us, where it's warm and cosy both mentally and physically and for me involves texture and candles – a place of love we are happy to leave and happier still to return to, which even the pets recognise is home.
- http://www.everydayminimalist.com evrydaymnmalist
  
  I agree that it all depends on your perspective of what a home is. Me, it\’s wherever I happen to be with BF
Arianne

I don't have a home. I was forced to leave the house where my dad and stepmom lived because of the obvious, my stepmother, 3 years back. I soon moved into my sister's house for the next 2.5 years, and then I had to move to a older cousin's house in NM, and now she is trying to get me on my way. So thats why I found this blog because I probaly need to consider hotel living because of instability. I became so happy with the fact that I have the option to go anywhere I want to go, because of the lack of family ties and furniture. What is a home to me? A state of happieness where ever I may be, money management, and having the man I love in my arms and at my side.
aerinalanna

My definitions of "home" change over time, of course, and right now they are stranger than ever. So:

1) When I was little, "home" was my parents' house (obviously), and my paternal grandparents' house, because they lived about thirty minutes away and we spent a lot of time there.

2) After my family moved when I was eleven, I adapted and that became "home." However, when I dreamt, and even to this day, the "home" in my dreams is the old house, not the new one, even though we've been here almost as long (9 years as opposed to eleven).

3) A few years later my grandparents moved, and their new house, although it has the feeling of "home" because my grandparents live there, is still not what I think of when I think of going to my grandparents' house. It still isn't the "home" that I associate with them.

4) I started college and met then BF, now fiancé. "Home" for me is now a very diverse concept, because I have 1) my parents' current home, where I spent my teens and spend my summers, 2) my childhood home, which is still "home" when I'm dreaming, 3) both of my grandparents' houses, despite the fact that they no longer live in the first one, 4) my dorm room, because I live there most of the time during the school year, 5) fiancé's family's house, because we spend a lot of time there, 6) anywhere fiancé is, because he is my heart's home, and 7) the home that he and I picture for our future, in which dreams and imaginings for the future live.

So it's really complicated, mostly because there is no "temporarily permanent" home for me at the moment. Once this semester ends and I graduate, it should get a little less weird.
bette

good question. I've been thinking about this lately as I am halfway through my 3rd year of university. I still go "home" for the holidays. I go "home" over some of the breaks. Yet I spend most of the time in my college town and after lunch, class, etc with some friends I go "home" to my dormitory. Weird transition period, not really sure what I call home anymore, or where I say I live. I don't technically live at my parents house anymore since I am not there most of the year, but lack a "permanent" address since I am still using on campus living. But as I've gotten older/in my upper years of college I go back to my family less (used to be thanksgiving, winter, spring, summer) and now only go back for major holidays and stay in my college city taking classes/working/etc most if not all of the other breaks.
- http://www.everydayminimalist.com evrydaymnmalist
  
  It\’s hard for me to say. My parents\’ home is like a home to me, but so is my hotel room wherever I am. That\’s why I say people make the relationships a \’home\’ or a familiar place for me.
Christiaan

For me, my body is my home. As long as I'm in it, I'm home.
So actually, I never leave home. *grin*

I can live absolutely anywhere, as long as I have a few basic needs with me and a space I can close/lock so I have privacy and meditate without beign disturbed. Actually just a laptop+wifi and clothing will do. Other than that, having my GF around certainly helps, but it's not a need to feel at home.
My recent post This Is Why Your Theories Are Useless
- http://www.everydayminimalist.com evrydaymnmalist
  
  You\’re just like Van!
  
  I like having familiarity, and I guess feeling lonely is something I really abhor. I don\’t like it when BF goes away on business but we do talk every night for a bit, so I feel better before I sleep rather than NO interaction at all.
http://www.thriftcore.com/ Van

Home is where…my work is! Not that I'm at home at the office.

As long as my roost has my PC, supplies, AND an artful design that motivates me and drives me to create- it is home for me. I've lived alone for a while, can you tell?

I visit my family but they don't constitute home for me. Home is the pod where I'm relaxed and inspired.
My recent post Gifts That Count- The Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide
- http://www.everydayminimalist.com evrydaymnmalist
  
  The pod. I love it
http://thesimplepoppy.typepad.com/the-simple-poppy/ TheSimplePoppy

Hmmm. I would say I was definitely adaptable and liked change before children. I don't dislike it now, but it's loads harder. When I visit close family it feels like home to me. I don't necessarily need MY stuff or MY house to be at home, family is enough. I'm not attached to one place as long as where I am I have my little peeps with me. Though I will say that a backpack full of the children's doudous or loveys works wonders to keep the homesickness at bay for them.
My recent post The Massive Mistake
http://duurzaam-sparen.blogspot.com/ Oryx

For me, home is also where the heart is. When I'm with my family, I'm home.

I do however have a soft spot for Amsterdam, that's my second home!
Layla

Home is sort of like Hermione's little purse in the 7th Harry Potter movie. She leaves everything she needs (books etc) but doesn't need right now. It has a place to sleep and indoors place to relax or work on things. I also think it also has to do with the people who live there.
Paige

Great post. We have kids and move frequently and I've always worried about them not having special memories of "the home we grew up in". I'm hoping instead they will have memories of the adventures we've shared. I think they will also learn adaptability and how to make the best of what you have at the moment. Home is with my family, wherever that may be.

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In a Nutshell

other blog: fabulously broke in the city
minimalist since: 2007 -- why minimalism?
talk to me: contact me here!
current location: canada/usa
home: hotel room
owns: 3 suitcases 2 carryons of stuff
# of items: more than 100!
furniture: 1 japanese futon
works: business consultant
gadgets: macbook pro, ipod touch (pda)
drinks: earl grey cream tea
practices: rebel yoga and de-cluttering
loves: minimalism, $$ management, traveling
quirk: must prep my food before eating
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