How to stop wanting something

This is tricky business.

To stop wanting something is to basically cut through that desire.

I don’t believe it when people say it’s just a matter of discipline.

Or mind over matter.

Raw emotion is difficult to control, but perhaps these methods might help.

Play it out

Let’s say you feel a strong desire for a new car.

Piggy Bank Shopping BagsYour old one is a 2000 Cavalier that it on its last legs, and you just.. want it.

At this point, I normally do all the motions of wanting the car.

I research it, I pick out the colour, I figure out the price, whether to lease or buy, the payments, increase in insurance and/or gas… everything.

At the end of that research, I compile all the information together and give it a hard stare.

More often than not, I realize that:

  • what I already own is still good enough to drive
  • I don’t use a car that often (I actually prefer public transit)
  • I am not willing to pay the extra difference in cash

I find that going through the motions, playing out the desire until the end, helps lessen the need for it.

It may not work for everyone (you may feel even more tempted!) but it works for me, because I give myself a mental slap with the hard facts facing me.

I don’t just act on impulse and sign the papers for the car. I work the issue to death before making any decisions.

Find a substitute and be creative

If you already have a black sweater, do you need a black sweater with a chain on it?

Probably not. Not at all.

01_WallTree_112509_rect540It may only be $50, or only $100, but the motivation of being creative (to me) is a lot more exciting.

I try to make do with what I’ve got. At least, that’s the plan for 2010.

For example, you could just pin a necklace on your old cardigan.

Even for kids, this is useful.

My parents wouldn’t buy me a Barbie Dream house when I was a kid.

So while I pouted, I decided to just be creative, and I made a dollhouse out of an old bookcase, and crafted all of their furniture out of old pieces of taped cardboard together.

Turned out better than I had hoped.

Make it a goal

If all else fails, make it a goal.

I find that this is an effective delay tactic.

How so?

Say you have an important certification coming up.

IF you pass that exam, you decide you will buy that laptop.

(Er.. that is, assuming you can afford it without going into debt).

1. By the time you pass that certification, you may have already forgotten about that laptop.

Mission accomplished.

Delaying it so long, by making it a goal instead of something arbitrary, made you forget about it.

2. Or decide you want to save the money (this is more often than not, what happens to me).

3. Even if you end up buying the laptop, it was a great motivator to pass that test.

Related Posts:

COMMENTS: 7

5 Lies you tell yourself that keep you spending

This was originally posted on Fabulously Broke in the City

You only live once!

The Situation: Money will always come and go. You only live once. Spend!

The Solution: While I agree that you shouldn’t be a miserly Scrooge and save every penny because it physically hurts you to spend it, going the other extreme is just as bad.

When you’re old, whatever shall you do? Eat out of cat food cans? Beg for money? Wish you had done things differently?

Regret always leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.

Don’t be a grasshopper. Be an ant.

Delayed Gratification sucks!

The Situation: You don’t want to wait and you want to enjoy it now, not in a year when you will have the money saved.

The Solution: If it isn’t a truly essential item (hot water heater or a fridge), then you can wait.

“Spaving” = Spending to Save

The Situation: You see the low-end and high-end models of the iPhone that you don’t really need but want desperately.

You buy the lower end model, and justify the purchase to yourself that you SAVED money, by NOT buying the higher-end model.

The Solution: You could have saved the entire amount if you just kept the money (or credit card) in your pocket.

Nothing is saved, unless you can see it in your bank account.

I am not talking about using coupons or discounts to buy what you will eventually use such as toothpaste or shampoo.

It is when you are in the store, buying on impulse and trying to justify it with your spaving logic, that is the problem.

I deserve….[insert item or service here]

The Situation: Bad hair day, Long day at work with the boss yelling at you, your kids are driving you insane… and you run to the mall for retail therapy.

The Solution: You need to find another way to relieve stress, rather than run to the mall to shop.

It is a high to shop and buy something pretty to make yourself feel better, I can attest to it!

Sure, it feels awesome to get the purchase- you feel like a lion who has just scored a big juicy zebra who happened to be napping under the tree, miles away from its herd.

But just remember that the high doesn’t last, and may leave you with a sick feeling in your stomach as you stare at your unnecessary, unwanted, unaffordable purchase.

It’s an investment in my career/love life/..[insert excuse here]

The Situation: You buy new clothes and shoes for your wardrobe because you go to work to bring back the bacon.

The Solution: Understand that an investment is something that makes you money over time.

While I understand that you cannot go to work in sweatpants and your baby food stained top, your clothes, technically do not make your money.

You do. Your brain does.

So if you head to the mall to find another pair of black heels to wear with your investment suits, you are just taking this way too far!

Besides, if your shoes or suit does not appreciate in value over time, then it is not an investment, and not many items fall into this category.

Louis Vuitton trunks, Hermes bags and everything else I cannot even dream of affording is in here, but certainly not clothing from Anthropologie, Forever 21 or Banana Republic.

Related Posts:

COMMENTS: 9

Celebrity Shopping Sprees: Anna Nicole Smith

What a tragic life she led.

Married to billionaire J. Howard Marshall she was a former Playboy Playmate who caught his attention.

Just a mere year later in 1996, after her husband Marshall died, she filed for bankruptcy.

She had a sad lack of understanding about her financial woes, and spent like it was going out of style.

Assets noted in her file:

  • $43,343.75 Russian Lynx Coat
  • Necklace with a 500-carat sapphire
  • 6 potbellied pigs
  • $12,000 doll collection
  • $1M in jewellery

Income for 1994: $154,142 from modelling and royalties.

Income for 1995: $274,514.

Unpaid bills:

  • Numerous jurisdictions
  • Gas Bill for $265.63

Anna Nicole died in February 2007 from accidentally overdosing on at least 9 medications in a Florida hotel.

Source:

  • The Metro News (Toronto) – Thurs Jan 28 2010

Related Posts:

COMMENTS: 5

Celebrity Shopping Sprees: Sarah Jessica Parker and Madonna

SARAH JESSICA PARKER

She’s known for being a down-to-earth star who’s careful with her money, but Sarah Jessica Parker has one serious weakness – shoes.

‘I have far too many shoes – I mean really, really, really too many shoes,’ says the Sex And The City star.

‘I’ve been wearing Manolo Blahniks for 16, 17 years. I’m not proud of my habit, but it’s what I do with my disposable income. I can run a marathon., I can jump puddles, I can do anything in heels – the higher, the better.’

SJP dates her shoe obsession back to her childhood, when her hard-up mum bought her just two pairs of shoes a year and dressed her in jumble sale outfits at 60p a go. ‘That’s why I have such a weird relationship with money,’ she says.

‘It’s why I can be profligate or super-frugal.

It comes from this desire to save yet, on the other hand, when I have been working so hard I think – why can’t I have another pair of those Manolo Blahniks?’

She is estimated to have around 100 pairs of the shoes, which range from $300 to $1,000 and she wears them at all times, even though they give her bunions and Achilles injuries.

‘I’ve virtually destroyed my feet, but I like what a high heel does to a person,’ she says. ‘My feet are so abused by shoes that they’re numb. They’ve given in.’

MADONNA

She came to New York City with $35 in her pocket and made $2.90 an hour.

Now she pulls in $43 million a year with an estimated net worth of $315 million.

Second only to J.K. Rowling, the brains behind the Harry Potter books, Madonna is the highest-paid woman in England.

When it comes to shopping, she has invested her wealth in homes around the globe and extravagant art collections. Madonna and ex’s Guy Ritchie’s week-long wedding extravaganza in Scotland included $1,000-a-night rooms for everyone for a week.

She paid for Jimmy Choo’s publicist Marilyn Heston to deliver eight pairs of the designer’s wedding pumps to Scotland for her to choose from on her big day and on a daily basis she has an array of shoe designers at her beck and call.

The queen of pop spends more on private Pilates sessions annually than a minimum-wage worker makes all year.

Instead of shopping in stores, Madonna browses through special ‘look books’ that designers send her. She has been known to spend $60,000 in a single flip-through.

When it comes to designers, Madonna is a fan of close pal Stella McCartney and her favourite trousers are ‘my low-rider linen pants that Stella McCartney made for me.’

Sources:

Related Posts:

COMMENTS: Leave me a comment

Celebrity Spending Sprees: Annie Leibowitz

The Gay Tax Excuse as the cause is a myth

Some claimed that the reason for why Annie got into financial trouble was because Annie’s lover, Sontag, bequeathed properties to Leibovitz who then had to pay 50% of the value in taxes, seeing as they were gay and legally unmarried.

That wasn’t true. With the exception of four items of only sentimental value, the bulk of Sontag’s estate went to David Rieff, Sontag’s only child.

So after that’s cleared up…

Her mortgages racked up

She used to live modestly, and then started buying expensive property.

Leibovitz, like so many Americans during the boom years, had been taking out additional mortgages, heaping loan upon loan and the mortgage debt on all her properties totaled about $15 million.

  • In 1994, she bought the Chelsea penthouse in London Terrace
  • In 1996, she acquired the Rhinebeck estate and converted it into a sprawling country home
  • In 1999, for $2.1 million, she purchased a 14,000-square-foot auto shop on West 26th Street, a five-minute walk from her Chelsea apartment, and built it into a state-of-the-art photo studio
  • 2 adjacent Greek Revival–style townhouses on 11th Street near Greenwich Street in 2002 and immediately began converting them into a single residence.

With these Greek Revival-style townhouses, she tried to stick to a half a million dollar budget, but the expenses blew out of control when she wanted to add a sub-basement with a higher ceiling.

When they dug the sub basement, they accidentally destroyed a young family’s home next door and she had to buy their home for $1.87 million.

And so did the bills from the tax men..

Federal records show that Leibovitz owed a total of $2.1 million in unpaid taxes for tax years 2004, 2006 and 2007.

She also had New York state tax liens of $247,980 for six years, including $135,915 in 2007.

And she owed New York City several thousand dollars for three years.

She wasn’t making as much as people thought

She was clearly spending beyond her means, with a bit of a celebrity complex.

“Photographers aren’t professional athletes, recording artists, or supermodels,” the source says. “Compared to 99 percent of the world, she makes a vast fortune. The problem occurs when a person becomes so famous that they start feeling that they’re more in line financially with Oprah or Madonna.”

MYTH: People spoke of a fabled “contract for life” from Condé Nast, thought to bring her as much as $5 million annually.

But it was apparently pure fiction and the contract is actually $2 million a year, and only until 2011.

MYTH: She was said to earn a day rate of $250,000 just to set foot in a studio for an advertising job for clients like Louis Vuitton.

It’s apparently not even half that.

And she wasn’t concerned with the practicality of bills & money

She could have been paid $100,000 price tag for commissioned portraits (a la Andy Warhol), but she was too flaky to deal with.

She could refuse the job, not schedule for years, or cancel at the last minute.

She acted as if the fine-art market was somehow below her, and not worth the effort.

All she had to do for example, was sign some prints. Someone who had paid for a print, and wanted it signed, may not get it for 2 years, because of how long she took to get around to signing them.

She also avoided and changed scheduled meetings and calls, delaying up to 16 months.

Her lifestyle was passionate and lavish

“She’s a massive perfectionist,” Brown says, “and absolutely doesn’t care about the impact on her own bottom line.”

Her lover Sontag also enjoyed sharing Leibovitz’s high-priced life; using her housekeeper, personal chef and living in all the places Annie purchased.

She even spent $800 in shipping charges alone via special customs courier to buy a seat on a plane to put a parcel of 2 black journals flown in from Stockholm’s stationer Ordning & Reda just so she could have the exact, hand-crafted notebook to record all the bowel and eating movements of her daughter.

And so were her bloated work expenses

Photographers are like consultants: typically paid a fee for their work, plus expenses, which is a specific budget they cannot go over.

She paid no attention to budget restrictions, and she spent money recklessly, losing cameras, accruing parking tickets, and even abandoning rental cars.

She was forced to deal only with cash, but got a credit card after she lost an envelope with several thousand dollars in a phone booth during a shoot.

She is generous without being practical

“She wanted her life to be like a magazine spread,” Kellum says. “Everything beautiful, nothing out of place. She wanted everything to be perfect.”

Leibovitz was also famously generous with her family.

“If I was in a bookstore with my sister, I would be afraid to even look at a book,” says Leibovitz’s younger sister Paula. “If I even looked at it, she’d turn around and buy it for me.” When Marilyn Leibovitz was diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2007, Leibovitz rented her a house on the ocean so she’d be able to hear the same surf she heard as a child summering on the Jersey shore.

And she never managed to pay vendors on time

Traditionally Leibovitz would submit claims to Condé Nast or an advertising client to cover her expenses.

The client would then reimburse her, and she would pay her vendors.

But she never paid her vendors.

According to a person familiar with the situation, after Leibovitz failed to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars she owed Box Studios, an elite postproduction company, they insisted on billing Condé Nast directly.

Bottom line: She cannot afford to “retire”

She has to work.

She has debts to pay.

Sources

Related Posts:

COMMENTS: Leave me a comment

© 2009 The Everyday Minimalist. All Rights Reserved.

This blog is powered by Wordpress and Magatheme by Bryan Helmig.